Procrastinator

I have been a procrastinator for as long as I can remember.

This past week I have severely paid for it.

Never again will I procrastinate.

Why you ask...

Because having melt down after melt down and panic attack after panic attack is not fun.

I can not wait until Christmas break so I can reorganize all aspects of my life!

Blessings

I have no idea what is going on lately... Last November was a weird month for me out of the whole year. This year, I am trying to battle my "November Blues" before it gets the best of me. I am letting many things get to me that I should not. Last year, and the year before, I had good reasons, but not so much this year. Anyways, so I decided to do an old trick and think of all the many blessings I have.

1. I have amazing roommates!
2. I still keep in contact with great friends from HS.
3. I have amazing mentors and friends who I am sure I bug from time to time, but still love me anyway.
4. I am in a much better place with my relationship with God.
5. My job  :)

I would also include being single, but I am kind of annoyed that I am single. I needed to be single for a while because there were many things that I need to work on. I needed to find a better, happier me. Now that I am there, I am not sure how to go about this being single except to enjoy every moment I can and to do things only single people, without kids, can do. There are some perks, no doubt about it!I do miss being in a relationship though... :/

Anyway, it is late. Goodnight.

Things I have discovered this week...

Or maybe I have always known but it was more prominent this week.

1. My time management skills suck (but slowly getting better)
2. I will probably need a new journal by Christmas (hint hint)
3. I miss having a male friend to talk to frequently
4. Flying into Vegas the week between Christmas and New Years Eve is crazy expensive!
5. Kids get very disappointed when you do not have a Halloween party in your classroom.
6. Teachers are poor.
7. A house in Lake Las Vegas is something that two teachers could possibly afford.
8. Remember to write things down in the planner.. that is what they were made for.
9. Too many people have their birthday at the same time!
10. A denim jacket suits my personality now more than it did 3 years ago.

Yes these are random thoughts, but they are thoughts that have scoured my mind for the last week or so.

Growth

First of all, school photos came in. I will post a photo as soon as I can. I am so excited!!! I can not wait to see them.

The point of this post is to talk about my unforeseen growth. Others may have seen it, but I have been oblivious. Up until October 2008, I was one of the most optimistic, bubbly, carefree people you would have probably ever met except I also had a very serious side to me. I took many things literally.

The last three years I would have to say were the toughest of my life. If you followed the blog previous to this one or knew me personally, then you already knew that. I was a mess and a wreck despite the few good things in my life.

This morning, I was having a conversation with a friend about my beliefs and a little bit of the journey that I have been on. Before October 2008, I told several people all the time that things happen for a reason. God has a plan and things happen for a reason. I would debate with friends about this and my opinion is that something good always comes from the not so good things. God would not let terrible things happen just to be mean. There is a reason and usually it is for growth.

After October 2008, I couldn't say I believed that anymore. If I did say it, I fully didn't mean it. I could no longer defend my belief shortly after my dad passed away. So the last year and a half has been a journey of getting back to the girl that I use to be before my life hit what felt like rock bottom. This summer was much improved. I found a huge part of my old self but, I knew there was still more work to do.

So here comes August and I landed a teaching job. How I did is beyond me still to this day, but there is no doubt in my mind why. I use to be very dedicated and a hard worker. I moved and my life fell apart. I didn't give 100% and the hard work kept declining until I just didn't really care anymore. I still worked, but I did the bare minimum. With teaching, a person can not do that. I have 34 children relying on me as well as their parents and the school district. Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he placed a teaching job in my path. I didn't think I was fully ready. Heavenly Father knew otherwise and this job is constantly challenging me and making me become a better person.

This morning I realized that because of Heavenly Father and His plan, I am BACK! I still may have struggles from day to day with missing my dad or what have you, but I am back to the girl that I use to be where I can stand by my beliefs, and I am back to working hard and being that cheerful girl that drove people insane with how cheerful she is. Now I will have challenging days, but it is looking at what is really important in this life and what I am meant to accomplish in this life to get through those days.

Hmmm...

I am exhausted. I want to eat a delicious home-cooked meal. I want to sleep. End of story.

I hope as the days and weeks go by, this new life gets easier. It will, it is just pushing through it.

So on a creative note, I started crocheting a scarf. I have not gotten very far, but it looks cute. Hopefully I will be finished by December.

This "NEW" Life

It has been nearly a month since I have made a post. I wouldn't say my life has completely changed, but it definitely is different. I am a busy little bee! The first 3 weeks of school I was there almost every day from 7 am to 8 or 9 at night. This fourth week, I started taking things home with me. Some of my FB friends know, but I was so zapped of energy that I just needed to work from home on my comfy couch and then I could take naps when I needed. How I am able to do everything I do is beyond me, but it gets done. I try to remember to say prayers every morning and evening and life is better when I read the scriptures every day, particularly in the morning before my day starts.

I have 34 children in my class. All of them are wonderful. Some days are tougher than others for them, but they are fantastic kids! As a teacher there is so much stress to get things done, but when looking at these kids realization hits and school needs to be fun and interactive and not all "business" like the stress that some teachers experience time from time. That last sentence may not make much sense, but it makes sense to me.

Since school started, I haven't done much for me. I got my hair done one evening, I watched Anne of Green Gables another evening and I went to the Greek Festival last night. I have done other little things here and there, but nothing huge or substantial. Since I am working around 70 hours a week, I really do enjoy my mini breaks.

I am also planning fun things like going to see The Lion King (which I am not planning at all!), making a trip to WI to see my friend and to see a hockey game, and possibly a trip to SLC over Christmas. I know I probably shouldn't, but I miss traveling so very much! I remember taking 2-4 trips a year whether by car or plane. The last time I have flown on a plane was in November 2009 for my friend's wedding in Wisconsin. The last 2 road trips were January 2010 to Zion National Park for 3 or 4 days and to Phoenix in December 2010/January 2011 for 5 days. For a girl who loves to travel, I feel like I am making up for lost time.

So... fun times are ahead. :) I am enjoying this new life that I am experiencing. It is definitely different, but definitely for the better!

MONDAY!!!

School starts Monday! Ahhh!

I am excited!

I feel like I have been prepping forever, though I am nowhere near done.

I have been getting maybe 5 hours sleep per night, so today was nice when I had 8.

I feel a little more acclimated, which is a good feeling.

We had a meet and greet on Friday. I got to meet a lot of wonderful parents and kids!

I am so excited to officially begin this new adventure!

I think that is it for now. :)

Life is what happens...

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" ~John Lennon

Growing up, I never understood this quote. I always had the opinion that life happens because of the plans we make. Little did I know and understand...

Life can change in a heartbeat or a millisecond. Life is constantly changing and we have to learn to adapt. I learned about the changes that life can bring my way between August 2008 and now. I reflected a lot in July and could not believe all the changes that had occurred in my life the past three years.

Change has arrived again... even though I had made other plans.

I heard the school district was not hiring for the coming up school year because of the budget cuts and other things that were occurring. I made the assumption that I would not be teaching this school year. Last week, local schools started calling potential candidates for interviews. I received one of those calls. The first position wasn't right for me (meaning the interview did not go well). The second interview I was called for, I made sure I was prepared and ready. I nailed it! I was offered a fourth grade position.

So now for the change. I had plans to work at my 2 current jobs, at least until January when I heard the district might be hiring teachers. I got the phone call for an interview and I was stunned. All of my plans have now changed. I finally understand, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Now if anyone knows where I can get children's books, classroom supplies and decorations at a low cost or free, please feel free to let me know! I would greatly appreciate it!

25th Birthday!

This is sad that I am already planning my 25th birthday on the day of my 24th birthday, but I am working all day today and that to me is just sad, so I am planning my birthday for next year.

I will have breakfast in bed, even if I have to get up to fix it and then hop back into bed to enjoy it. :)

I will get a mani-pedi with a few of my girls.

I will at some point get dressed up and go out to eat (lunch or dinner) with a few of my girls.

Who knows what else I will do. I may go to the pool, I may go hiking, heck I may go out of town and do something crazy like bungee jumping or zip lining.

All I know is that I will not be working and I will be having a fun and relaxing time.

I am sure I will have more ideas as the day goes on so stay tuned.

Blessings

I am so amazed by the blessings that Heavenly Father provides for us, especially when they come in packages not seen as blessings.

Every trial that has occurred in my life, I can give reasons to why they occurred or at least why I think they occurred. I have always been able to look at the bright side of life. The last few years, the intense trials that occurred were so tough for me. Though I have come a long way, I still struggle.

One trial that I am going through that still effects me to this day (though not everyday). I've never seen the good or the possibility of the good that may come from that trial. I was struggling more than I could imagine this afternoon and normally I would text people to help distract me from my thoughts. I tried that and was not getting the results I wanted so I started reading scriptures. From my few hours of reading, I am realizing that even though the good may not be occurring in this moment (and maybe it is and I don't see it) there are possibilities of blessings that I choose not to see before.

In D. Todd Christofferson's talk during last conference titled, “As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten” he talked about many things, but one item in particular was about a current bush. This bush had grown quite tall, over 6 ft. to be more exact. The gardener, who was new, had trimmed this current bush to nothing but stubs. Out of the stubs came what looked like tears and the current bush had asked why had the gardener done this to him. The gardener replied with this powerful quote, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.” 

The days I feel that pain, I tend to change... I get stronger. It's taken me months to realize this, but I am a better person because of this trial. My life is constantly changing for the better. No matter how this trial ends, I will be exactly what Heavenly Father would like me to be. As long as I show Heavenly Father my gratitude, I know I will be blessed.

4th of July

... was amazing!

I stayed in Vegas and celebrated the day with my roommates and some friends.

Me, Kim, Sarah, Cindy, Jasmine

I spent most of the day cooking and baking. I made my mom's potato salad, deviled eggs, and some very delicious banana bread. I also helped Kim make snicker salad. Surprisingly, snicker salad is good.

Most of the food to the side...

Later Sarah and I grilled for the very first time! We had a bucket of water on standby just in case we messed things up! We were a little scared at first, but all was well. Our food turned out pretty amazing. :) We grilled hot dogs (my fav), BBQ chicken, and smoked hamburgers.

Grillin' :)

Sarah grillin' :)

The weather was spectacular! We sat outside to eat. We were in the shade and there was just a slight breeze. BEAUTIFUL is all I can say.

Yummy food and camping chairs!

We played some Jungle Uno, had dessert, and listened to the neighbor kids light off fireworks. It was such an amazing day. :)

I hope everyone had an amazing and safe 4th!

Mary Jane Falls


I should have wrote this earlier, but oh well... I am getting to it now.

So I went hiking last weekend up in Mt. Charleston. It was much warmer than expected. Of course I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt... I was wishing I was wearing shorts and a tank.

Parking was a pain... and I get nervous in my car with tight spaces. I was freaking out just a little, but with a little help I found a spot and was able to park.



Linda, me, and Estee

We started hiking and our large group was then separated into small groups. There were tons of people on the trail. The small group I was in stopped several times, but that was fine by me! There were zig zags to the trail which reminded me of Angels Landing in Zion. It was a nice hike.



Group Picture



Mary Jane Falls



We made it to the top and WOO-HOO! It was fun to play in the water. I totally missed the group picture because I wanted to run around the water for a while. The ice-cold water felt so amazing!The hike down was so much easier! I was making jokes about jogging the end. Towards the end, I spotted a lizard with a bright blue tail. It was pretty amazing to see. Once the hike was over with, we went to the Cabin and had an awesome lunch! The drive back to town was not so fun...my a/c decided to not work for that drive. Feeling the heat with the drop in elevation... :(

Playing next to the snow!



Overall, it was so much fun! I got to spend some time with some friends I have not got to spend time with in a while.



Oh, and my 24th birthday is in 24 days! I seriously can not believe how quickly the last few years have flown by. I can remember the last 4 Fourth of July's and I can remember the last few birthdays. I keep wondering if this year, July is going to be low-key or just as memorable as the last few. I'll soon find out! :)

Have a happy and safe 4th!!!! :)



Amazing Sunday!

Church was so amazing today that I had to not only write about it, but share it. It was testimony Sunday and the things people shared was so amazing!

I do have to give my back story before I talk about the testimonies people shared...

It is Sunday morning and I am up around 6:30 am. That's early for me, but usual this past week. Anyway since I was up that early, I was pondering about my day, about what I wanted to do, what I could possibly accomplish. I checked emails and then I started reading. I was so enthralled in this book that I did not want to put it down. A short time later, I decided to put the book down and get ready for church. I was so unmotivated... I seriously had no desire to go! As I sat thinking, I decided that I should go even though I could think of several other things I wanted to do.

So I get to church and people start sharing their testimonies. The first person up is a friend of mine. She has had health problems for years and it still continues today. I don't remember every word said, but I was so moved. The struggles she goes through every single day and she didn't mention a single thing about it specifically. I was in awe. The next person to share was new to the area and he happened to show up here. The first person he saw was Tongan just as he was and when he sat in church and heard the first person who gave their testimony sing, he felt like he was in the right place. He shared his story and the strength of his testimony was just amazing to me to. Person after person that went up, just the stories shared was beautiful and amazing.

About three quarters into it, some one I look up to bore her testimony. She was talking about difficult times in our life and with time the peace that Heavenly Father brings. At first I thought she may have been talking about a break-up with her boyfriend (she was sitting with her girl-friends, so I made a quick assumption). As she kept talking though, I realized she was talking about a recent tragedy with her brother. With that realization, my heart began to race.

Others began to share, I was working on getting my heart to stop racing. Most of the time it works... this time though, my heart was pounding faster and harder to the point where it seriously felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. At that point, It was difficult on me to focus on the speaker. I barely heard anything she said and I swear I was beginning to get tunnel vision. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I knew I could not deny that prompting any longer.

I was the last to share my testimony today. My heart was racing so hard I had difficulty listening to my own thoughts. I was shaking with so much intensity, I am surprised I didn't sound worse than I did. Afterwards, several people thanked me for sharing and that it was good.

I always think about something I would like to share whenever there is a testimony Sunday. I never share because even though I have been told I have a great testimony and I should share it whenever and wherever, I hear other's give theirs and I feel like mine is so inadequate. I feel like others can gain more by me just sitting back and letting other's speak. Among that, I am not a crier. I may get teary-eyed when something hits me just right, but I don't cry. Please don't misunderstand me, I am a compassionate person and many things move me to feel awe and amazement. I am just not a crier. I am also not a joker... I am a fun person to be around, but I do not crack jokes. I just tell things how they are and what I think in my heart and in my mind. People who share their testimonies usually cry at some point or crack a joke, that is why I mentioned it.

Ultimately, I just want to say thank-you to those who shared today. It renewed my spirit and got me to share my testimony.

I hope every one is have a great, amazing, blessed Sunday!

Memorial Weekend

This past weekend was a fun-filled weekend!

Friday, I subbed for one of my favorite classes. The teacher was so awesome and got me a gift! She didn't even need to. It was so sweet! That evening I went to an Area 51 baseball game. I bunch of us from work went. There we several highlights from the evening: 1, a coworker jumped over 3 rows of bleachers trying to catch a foul ball; 2, some guy broke his bat while hitting the ball; 3, the 51's had 6 HR in one inning. The ultimate highlight of the evening was the firework show. It was spectacular!

Saturday after work I went to "It's a Gas" Exhibit. It is an exhibit about chemistry basically. There were tons on neon signs. I had to wear my new stellar sunglasses! :D After that I went to a friend's house for a BBQ. They know how to throw a BBQ. Tons of hamburgers, sausages, chicken, chips, fruit, and I don't even remember what else. The ladies chatted about school and life while the guys watched the fight (MMA?).

Sunday was a very chill day, literally and figuratively. I wore my long, hippie skirt to church that I don't necessarily like because it was cold and windy.

Monday, I drove into Mesquite and spent the day with my mom and Clark. I went to the cemetery and honored some veterans that have died. After that we moved some furniture over to the house. We had a small BBQ that evening, steak, beans, and potato salad! My mom made me try a really great dessert. It sounds a little weird, but it is so yummy. It is strawberries dipped in sour cream and rolled in brown sugar. Don't knock it until you try it! After that I came back to Vegas, went to a pool party and mingled. It was nice to finally get home and talk to my roommates who were gone all weekend. :)

Fresh Start

Hello all!

So most of you may be wondering why I am starting a whole new blog. It's because my other blog was bombarded with so much emotion, including a lot of sadness. I used it as a venting tool, a way to release stress, and a coping mechanism. It was like an online journal that people could read and follow along with the roller coaster of a life that I was experiencing.

Though I do not mind sharing those thoughts, I feel like I need a fresh blogging start. So much has changed since I first started that blog in December 2008. I've grown and changed so much! I need a happy blog to share with the world. That's not to say I won't be emotional, but I'll save the fun, crafty, innovative, great things for this blog!

Enjoy!