I am

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing was going right and you just felt like nothing you did would be enough?

Yeah... Well, I think I have felt like that for a month or longer depending on the area of my life. 

Yesterday morning, I had a revelation. I am enough.

I have been so overwhelmed with all my callings in life that I feel as though I was stretched too thin and unable to be good at any of them.

I am a teacher, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a primary presidency member, a friend... And if I took the time, my list could go on. 

Teaching is so important to me. These kids spend 6+ hours with me to get an education, but I think that as part of the village, my job is to help them become amazing people and they are just that. They are amazing people. I am so proud of my kiddos that I see 180 days of the year! 

As a mom, I am told it is the most important calling in life. To be able to raise your child to be the best person that he/she can be. To do that, you need to be there and be involved. I feel as I fail this all the time, but I am so glad that our family has the love and support from our personal families and our ward family.

Being a wife is also important because we need to be a family unit. I know that when the kids are grown and gone, it'll be me and him again. We have to learn to love each other, know each other, grow together, and all the other things in our marriage and relationship that make being together so worthwhile. I love my amazing husband for all he is all that he does, even the irritating parts. And I am sure the feeling is mutual.

I am a daughter. I live about 1.5 hours away from home. I should be out there more. Life is just so busy and with a kid, you can never schedule in sickness so life has become go with the flow so I am thankful for technology to at least talk to my mom! 

Being a part of the Primary Presidency is huge. I feel so overwhelmed all the time. I was called in December as first counselor and I have been rolling on the ball ever since. I do my best most of the time... At least I hope. I feel like I am now past the initial learning stages and I need to dive into it all so much more. It's important too because it's our job to teach and to help the teachers and leaders that we guide so the children are learning about the gospel. 

I feel like I am a crummy friend... I literally have to schedule in time with my friends because if I do not my life listed above takes it first. I'm lucky if I get to hang out with a  friend once a month... And I have so many good friendships over the years that I have made and want to make sure I keep open because God has blessed me with some amazing friends in this life. 

After reading this you may understand why I felt so frazzled and stretched thin. Every job I have in life is important. Every job I have has an influencing role whether it's helping/being with my family, educating the young minds in multiple settings, or just being a decent person and friend. 

I am trying. I'm not perfect, but I am enough. As long as I do not stop trying to better myself, then I am sure I will always be enough. :)

My conversion

I feel compelled to write my conversion story, maybe it will inspire or give hope.

I grew up in an LDS founded town, in fact, a few of my ancestors had helped settle the area I once called home. 

My family has several generations within the church but, with my father and most of his siblings, the generation before mine fell away. (As a side note: my father was born in 1944.)

My dad fell away after he became a deacon. His friends joked with him in his old age that, 'he was the oldest deacon in town'. He never explained much. I'm assuming he didn't want to taint my personal views. 

In elementary school, I sometimes went to the LDS church with my neighborhood friends. Most of the time, I went to church with my mom or other friends which began at a Baptist church and eventually I settled into the Methodist church. Becoming a member of the Methodist church was not an easy decision. It was my freshman year in high school and I was going to seminary with my friends during lunch and on Sunday's I was attending church service at the Methodist church.  Whenever missionaries came to our door, they were never allowed in because of what had happened in my father's past. It was confusing as to which I should become a member of. I had no pressure from either side, nor my family. The decision was all my own. After getting out of town, having alone time, and praying with my Heavenly Father, I felt the best decision was to become a member of the Methodist church. I made the most amazing friends whom I'm still friends with to this day, young and old. It was not the wrong choice. I stayed a member and stayed extremely active until I moved to Las Vegas for school in August 2008.

I tried several Methodist churches in the area and no matter how hard I tried, it didn't feel the same. I stopped going to church altogether unless I was visiting my family back home. That was the same year my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, so I went home a lot on the weekends. That was also the year I met my husband. 

Come 2009, my pastor from back home was called to serve in Henderson, NV and I started to attend there because it was hard to always go home with my new job. When I was back home, the feeling was the same as I felt when I first came to Las Vegas, so I didn't attend church all that much. 

My husband and I started dating in July and I met his family. They are members of the LDS church. My dad passed away in October, my husband and I broke up in April 2010 and by May I had hit rock-bottom. I still tried finding a church home in Las Vegas and couldn't still almost two years later. The Methodist church in Henderson was great, but something still felt missing. I remember my husband's family saying if I wanted to go to church with them that I was more than welcome to. We were still in contact so I asked and I went. I felt whatever it was that I had been missing. 

I sort of began taking missionary lessons but because I was moving in July, we didn't do a whole lot of lessons. Once I moved, I began taking the lessons. Come September, I was baptized and confirmed a member of Christ's holy church.

I've had many highs and many lows since I've become a member of the LDS church. All were meant for a reason!

After our long break-up, during which we both had personal lessons that needed to be given, we got back together May 2012, engaged in September, and married/sealed in December. We had our precious baby girl just shy of our 1 year anniversary. 

I'm eternally grateful to be a member of the LDS church. It was a journey that took 23 years. So do not give up hope on friends and loved ones, or anyone for that matter, because the way you live your life or the things you may discuss can become the building blocks for those who will become members in the future.